Govt to bail out a leaner, trimmer Air India
“Govt to bail out a leaner, trimmer Air India” was the headline on the Times of India news. I have seen Air India in action for quite some time now, and more than a bailout what they really need is a solid “kick out”. In the following few paragraphs I will try to explain why I have come to feel that way.
Let us first compare Air India with other carriers in India right down at the ground level. Private carriers in India are notorious for ridiculous cost cutting and general “pay all the way” attitude. They offer the minimum that can be provided without looking like a transport bus on wings. And yet whenever I have traveled with Air India it felt worse. The staff is mostly oblivious to your needs and have the air of the arrogant host rather than that of a polite service person. The private carriers at least make sure that the staff is not rude to the customer. I guess it is something to do with their perception about who pays their salaries. While the personnel of the private carriers know too well that they wont get paid if there are few fliers day to day – the Air India staff are secure in the knowledge that “government is going to pay anyway”. And the news headline is the best example of this fact.
In-flight service is the best differentiator for the private fliers. They compete with each other to appear courteous while trying to be cost-effective. Every cheap trick is used to make sure that the flier feels more pampered that he actually is. The service on the Air India flights charts the opposite course. They have all the means – but try to behave pricey and least bothered to create any impression, leave alone a good one.
Air India had all the advantage. They had reach and they had leverage. They could cut out original and value for money deals with the help of the different tourism departments within the government. They could make and sell “package holidays” better than anyone else could in India. They had the resources. But even today we rarely see a “package” where Air India is the flight service provider. All the great deals are with the private carriers.
To quote the Civil aviation minister Praful Patel :
The Prime Minister has said that the entire weight of the government is behind Air India. It is a national carrier and it is our pride. But there is a condition that Air India must put its best foot forward. The employees must realise that there is a problem and it is a cumulative problem.
It has been way too many years since privatization started in India, for the employees to realize that “there is a problem and it is a cumulative problem”. They are really beyond repair. And this constant bailing out is not helping at all. When the bailout is guaranteed, their will only be just enough incentive for the “paperwork being done”. Any improvement in the services or the organization as such will just be the figment of the fliers’ imaginations.
The airplanes Air India uses sometimes compete with the crew in looking older and more gray haired ! Sometimes on a rough landing – I used to feel that the plane was just holding on. I imagined the jaded technician going through the motions, without any hope of an honest appraisal of his work. I imagined the contract management teams taking kickbacks and filling the planes with under rated and low quality spares. I imagined the usual government machinery at work. And then one day I met a colleague who had worked in their maintenance teams before. Voila – my imagination was quite spot on ! All he had to say was that he was surprised most the flights could even take off !
Someone please tell our honorable minister that Air India is definitely our national carrier but not our “pride”. Rather, they are a facet we like to collectively hide from outsiders. You will be hard pressed to find an Indian who bragged about the great time he had with Air India. We often tend to forget to mention the fact that we arrived on the national carrier. Its like avoiding to say “I could not get a seat anywhere else !”
The minister added :
Until and unless serious steps are taken to improve the functioning and the financial viability, it would be difficult for the government to continue supporting the airliner
Why not say impossible rather than difficult. Even better - say f*** y** you piece of sh**. And let them drown within the cesspool of collective lethargy and utter corruption. I would support a minimalist “national carrier” with just enough flights for essential services and government personnel. Everything else should be completely privatized. There definitely is a need to monitor standards – but that should apply to all carriers. Anyway I have more often seen private corporations have better standards than the government ones, except a few which are worse – Reliance for example.
When the whole oragnisation is a problem – one should get rid of it. Trying to repair it is like repairing an old run down car – you fix something, and something else falls apart ! That has been quite the case with Air India, for a long time now. The pilots go on strike, the staff go on strike and almost anyone who is someone in the organisation always chooses to throw his/her weight around. Its time we got rid of the “government scale malignant tumor” and start from scratch. Let the idiots fight for their survival. Maybe they just might turn the corner themselves. At worst we will have less delays because of these slow moving monkeys.
Peddling the “science” or the lack thereof !
Scientific Vastu !
Going through the papers the other day , I came across this wonderful advertisement about “Vastu”. Now Vastu is a touchy subject in India. Almost every one here knows its mostly crap. But almost everyone will never want to engage with bored fat housewives who will usually believe in all this.
So “Vastu” survives along with the cottage industry doling absurd advice to absurd people. Part of the reason that it is so resilient to debunking – is that it usually has some nuggets of knowledge in some nooks and crannies. It’s like a cocktail of common-sense facts with a generous dollop of “absurd science”.
So lets examine the advertisement on the left. The first section is the common sense – switch on the lights to dispel depression. Along with that you can dispel the “evils of darkness”. Ghosts maybe ? Apparitions ? Or maybe just the harmless evil of “tripping over the telephone cord in the dark” !!
The second section attempts to explore the science behind ringing bells. Now make no mistake – there is definitely an explanation behind the allure of the sound of ringing bells. That explanation usually includes the science of hearing and how we react emotionally to various sounds. But the “science” in this advertisement ventures further.
We get to learn that
Bacteria have a hearing mechanism
Bacteria die when they hear bells ringing
Now that’s quite a lot of “science” in a few lines. Perhaps the author might care to explain which peer reviewed paper he is quoting. Or maybe the paper he is quoting is from a tattered book of the village quack.
The last part gives us some insight about the author of the advertisement. A certain doctor (PhD ?) who specialises in “removing vastu defects without demolition”. Also this person can sense negative and positive energies. What a package! I say this person should pay a visit to the Writers Building in Kolkata. He will find so much negative energy that “demolition” might be the only option left !
Ten ways to lose Twenty-Twenty
Looking at India’s despicable run chase in the just concluded match against the English (in the ICC twenty-twenty world cup), I felt like enumerating the ten most important ways you can lose a twenty-twenty cricket match !
- Who looks better ? (On the field)
1.) Push the third time losers like Ravinder Jadeja up the ranks so that they can make their test match debuts in the Twenty-Twenty format. The funny side of the whole affair was his face. He has more expressions than a monkey on heat. But he had no shots unfortunately.
2.) Come in down the line with mammoth expectations like Yuvraj, and then get stumped while your backfoot hangs above the ground like a limp phallus. Here I must give some credit to the man. He puts an honest effort all the time. Better luck with Kim Sharma.
3.) Come in as captain like Dhoni and then start playing like an entry level cricketer playing his first Ranji trophy. I wonder if Dhoni stopped getting his milk. Maybe he should head to the nearest cow and stick his head under the udder. He looked more like a “doodh pita baccha” than the captain during the match.
4.) Get cocky like Harbhajan during the usual interview halfway through the match. He thought it was a “good pitch to bat on” . I thought his lack of foresight and intelligence is a “good pitch to Bet on”. There is nothing like making cocky statements like that and then coming a cropper.
5.) Get all confused with loopy bouncers. Suresh Raina needs to understand that he is no good if he can only play “good length balls that come on to the bat”. He looked like a guy trying to fly a kite. His expression after his dismissal , conveyed the distinct impression that he wanted to hit the ball higher in the air – so that all the eleven on the fielding side could get underneath it !
6.) Put a kilo of white sunscreen on your face like Gambhir and then play like a zombie. He needs to get his act together before he lands up being the “borderline case” all over again. The guy probably put in the best efort in the whole side. But alas … it was just too little. The better thing to do would have been to take a swipe at Jadeja, so the guy could be removed from the match and thus improve our chances.
7.) Come in like the next Nemesis of the balling and then drag the ball to your stump like Mr. Sharma at the top. Sharma looks confident. He moves confident. He gestures confidantly. He does everything right in terms of the show. And then he plays like a third time loser. I wonder if he was thinking this was the IPL – and there would always be “another match” surrounded by those foreign babes swinging their booty at the ropes. Come on man – can you please grow up !
8.) Win the toss , and then mis-read the pitch and then choose to chase just because you lost the last match playing first ! ( Which is what I think our good captain had in mind anyway !)
9.) Play like a opener in the third last over. This one must be the best way to lose the match without getting blamed for not trying hard. Our great players were taking the “ones and twos” diligently while the required rate was 12+. Qualifications for playing in the Indian should include proficeincy in basic math !
10.) Play the “same team” in all the non-consequential matches. And then start doing the experiments in the important ones ! This probably is the single best way to confuse your own team members and lose the important matches. Suddenly we see “new” faces when the most important match comes up !
The Indian team has this uncanny ability to make benign cricketing sessions look like russian roullete. Their confidence is as thick as the ice on a frozen lake during a warm summer. Some one just needs to jump a little hard, and the whole surface of the lake cracks up. At the end of the match all I could say was – “well we deserved to lose !”
Would you like to go on a Holiday ?
I guess everyone enjoys being asked that question. Except perhaps those guys at the tourism services. For them the above question probably implies going back to work !
I was also asked this question. And I did not enjoy it. Not because I would not like to go on a holiday ! But because the person asking the question was doing a sales pitch. He wanted me to hear out the “whole deal” about timesharing of holidays. Well he had his job to do and I had to listen so that I could get a “gift” at the end. But while I was “listening” I decided to think about how it must feel to be a sales person for these holiday deals.
A few minutes into the presentation he started showing us slides about the resorts and their amenities. He had a laptop on which a PPT sideshow was flashing images from the resorts. Very fervently he described the various resources available for the holidayer. He showed the swimming pool and the jacuzzi. He also showed us the bar, events in the bar as well as the “beautiful” toilet. Just in a manner of conversation – I asked him if he had ever gone to any of these resorts. He confidently replied that he had not – maybe he could if he accumulated enough “points” by the end of the year.
That I felt was the most poignant moment in the presentation. Here was a guy waxing eloquent about the “beautiful” resort and he had never gone to any one of them. The first thing that happened after the revelation – he lost almost all his credibility for the rest of the conversation. The second thing that happened – I became really pensive thinking about how utterly phony all this must seem to this poor guy. He must be wistfully looking at those photographs in between the pitches and wishing that he had the money to go on these trips. But most certainly he was very far from achieving that dream.
One man can put another in the most strangest of situations in life. His “manager” was a suave sales guy who would come in between the conversation and give “tips” to me. He was also monitoring the effect of the pitch on me and was trying permutations and combinations in his head – mainly to give me a set of “numbers” that would make me sign up. The methods he was choosing to convince me amused me more than ever. Let me give you an example.
Manager: So how much did you spend last year on holidays
Me : About 2500/- per day for four days
Manager : And how many times you go on a holiday in a year ?
Me: Twice a year !
Manager : That means …(some scribbling on paper) …ummm …. around 40000/- a year
Me : Hmmm … (thinking how the hell he got that number)
Well there were a few more of these “mathematical” errors before the final most beautiful number. To sum it all up I had to pay around 2.75 lacs for a 25yr validity of 7 days of holiday per year. Along with this, on offer, was a plot of land just because “It is our twentieth anniversary”. I asked him where this plot of land was. He showed me a beautiful map of the place with neat rectangles draw all over it. Basically there was nothing on the land except the rectangles.
Shabby Promotions !
A little more shabby was the appearance of his promotional materials. There was a magazine which looked fit to be used as a toilet paper. There were a few laptops with lots of pictures. ( He was changing the laptop every ten minutes – the other tables also required the services of the laptop ! I wondered if they would figure out a laptop sharing “deal” … ). Also the a4 sheets he was using for his “figures” looked like from the refuse heaps. The table was a glass top … the chairs were plastic. Loud music played in the background and there was a huge blow up of one of their “castle” resorts on one wall. Another wall had a huge photo of the founder of the business. He looked positively like a goon, fat cheeks, mustache and dark shades. The sales guy kept pointing out the photo when referring to the “founder”. I was wondering how his appearance could make/break my holiday. I definitely would not want to have him in the next room to me ! Even if it was paradise all around !
The whole setup felt like a cheap coffee house with loud music. The people felt like they had barely been able to “sell’ anything at all. They looked tired and behind the sheen of “enthusiasm” I could sense a bit of desperation to get out and breathe fresh air ! For a pitch to sell a 2.75 lac commodity (for the same price you can buy two Nano cars and fit them with speakers and halogen lamps !) … they sure screwed up big time. They had the right words – they could make you feel the pressure to sign up. But the rest of the story had fallen apart. And without the rest the words appeared really hollow.
There was a brief clapping episode in the middle when a family “signed up”. I wondered if they knew what they were getting into. For I know … cause I have already signed up with the competitor. The service after you sign up is not just bad – its offensive. The common perception among the employees of these businesses is that they have done you a great favor by giving “so much for so little”. But its not their fault. They have only seen the seedy side of the business. They were never sent on any of the resorts to get a first hand view – not even for one day. They only see the “customers” complain about their “bad holiday”. They probably feel that “the guy is just asking for too much … look at me … I haven’t even been to any of them and I have to praise them to the sky !!”
So much for the “Holiday” !
Drifting !
Drifting
Its the art of sleeping while attending a boring lecture. You require a thick pair of glasses and loads of wrist strength. The central idea is to hold up your head in the “interested” posture while sleeping behind your thick spectacles !
If you did not understand the above, do not drift away. Instead consider these very delectable definitions of drifting from the Modern Racer website
1) Kansei Drift- this is performed at race speeds, when entering a high speed corner a driver lifts his foot off the throttle to induce a mild over steer and then balances the drift through steering and throttle motions. Note that the car that is being used for this style of drift should be a neutral balanced car therefore the over steer will induce itself. If the car plows through any turn this technique will not work.
2) Braking drift- this is performed by trail braking into a corner, then loss of grip is obtained and then balance through steering and throttle motions. Note that this is mainly for medium to low speed corners.
3) Faint Drift- this is performed by rocking the car towards the outside of a turn and then using the rebound of grip to throw the car into the normal cornering direction. Note that this is heavy rally racing technique used to change vehicle attitudes during cornering, mainly tight mountain corners.
4) Clutch Kick- this is performed by depressing the clutch pedal on approach or during a mild drift, then pop the clutch to give a sudden jolt through the driveline to upset rear traction.
5) Shift Lock- this is performed by letting the revs drop on downshift into a corner and then releasing the clutch to put stress on the driveline to slow the rear tires inducing over steer. This is like pulling the E-brake through a turn – note that this should be performed in the wet to minimize damage to the driveline, etc.
6) E-Brake Drift- this technique is very basic, pull the E-Brake or (side brake) to induce rear traction loss and balance drift through steering and throttle play. Note that this can also be used to correct errors or fine tune drift angles.
7) Dirt Drop Drift- this is performed by dropping the rear tires off the road into the dirt to maintain or gain drift angle without losing power or speed and to set up for the next turn. Note that this technique is very useful for low horsepower cars.
Jump Drift- in this technique the rear tire on the inside of a turn or apex is bounced over a curb to lose traction resulting in oversteer.
9) Long Slide Drift- this is done by pulling the E-brake through a strait to start a high angel drift and to hold this to set up for the turn ahead. Note that this can only be done at high speed.
10) Swaying Drift- this is a slow side-to-side faint like drift where the rear end sways back and forth down a strait.
11) FF Drift- or front wheel drive drift. The E-brake as well as steering and braking techniques must be used to balance the car through a corner. Note that the E-brake is the main technique used to balance the drift.
12) Power Over- this performed when entering a corner and using full throttle to produce heavy oversteer (tail slide) through the turn. Note that you need horsepower to make this happen.
The seasoned racer will probably take home a lot from the above list. As an Indian I think this list is incomplete. It does not have the most important type of drifting available for use in India ! It comes it at number 13, but that number kind of symbolizes the implications of this drift.
13) Indian Drift- this is performed when trying to overtake a vehicle in front of you from the wrong side. As you approach the slowest vehicle on the slowest lane at high speed you suddenly steer towards the faster lane (in front of the vehicle you are overtaking). The only requirements for this is shear b***s and a government may care attitude !
Indian Drift
This drift is used as often as the communal toilet. Almost everybody on the road has used this for a variety of reasons. They range from the plane old “I can drive faster” to the very esoteric “I needed to take a head shot at the driver ahead”. The reason for many roadkill cases can be traced to the implementation of this drift in difficult and crowded environments by claustrophobic and under-trained village lads posing as experienced drivers.
Ghajini – Can half sleeves be rolled up ?
If I ever met the director of this movie – I would ask – How can you roll up half sleeved shirts ?
Another question that needs to be asked is, how in gods name could he take a brilliant movie like Memento and convert it to such trash ? If Christopher Nolan sees this version, he will probably tear his hair out in one nice curvaceous line !
I always have high expectations from an Amir Khan movie. Something in his acting makes me feel good about watching him. His eyes are evocative and his manners on screen are honed and perfected to suit the role. And I must say even in this movie he tries his best to be guy defined by the story. Only the story got too contorted by this imbecile director form the south of India.
The movie begins well and shows an ultra angry Amir Khan whooping some really bad asses. Phenomenal strength is depicted in his small body ! We see Amir thowing this monster like he was a bag of cotton ! The tap dripping blood at the end of the plumbing inside his stomach is something to watch out for. At this point I was getting heated up for some in your face action !
Jiah Khan is the bimbette doctor who looks like in need of psychiatric help more than Amir. She seems to have such a vacuum in her upper chamber that the average grey matter in the scenes containing her drop to near zero. She wants to pursue this case of the curious man with the line across his ahead !
Her meeting with Amir is well depicted and was the last part o the movie that I felt interested enough to watch. After this the “tamil movie onslaught” started in full force. The heroine is a plump girl who over acts all the time ! I felt I had suddenly started watching a street play ! Even more hilarious was the scene where Amir walks out of a private plane with his half sleeves rolled up to reveal his newly acquired biceps.
After a few moments of overacting from Asin (or whatever her name is) I was sure that this was a movie that I did not want to watch. The next best option was to go out and get drunk with my cousin who had hosted a party that night. (I should thank god for having mercy for my soul). After a few drinks I had almost forgotten the one hour of torture that I had to endure before walking out ! By today its almost a blurry memory and hopefully by next week I will be rid of all memories of this most abysmal Amitr movie in recent times !
My advice – If you like Rajnikant style fantasies – then go watch Rajnikant ! The guy has built his reputation in this genre. Amir on the other hand looks like a petulant child with some brawn thrown in. What a waste of talent. I wish that our directors can copy movies better in the future …I never expect them to be original anyway !
Research in India ! …. Part 1
Sometimes you get this wonderful opportunity to do “worthwhile” research in India. The word worthwhile is used in quotes to bring out the weight behind the word when used in the context of Indian research. In most Indian institutions research is done like a stage play. There are various actors, and a vast array of “technology” which forms the backdrop to the action. In this setting the actors go through the motions while making sure that the performance is believable and the output has enough quality to not be disregarded.
Research and Development !
You see in India we do not really believe in research. We believe in working and getting salaries. Open ended research is a huge load on our feeble brains ! So to mitigate this problem we like little monkeys imitate the “practices” from our western friends. We set up emails, we do meetings, we buy black berries ( not the edible variety ), we buy “servers” and we generally go about disseminating textbook information in baritone voices so that the listener may be brainwashed into believing that all the research we are doing is worthwhile and unique !
Into this soup, did I decide to dive in ! And oh what fun we had … but wait, let me tell you from the beginning ! The beginning as always is a meeting. Here the participants of the research are made to sit through a long lecture about the “workings” of the place. Each person tries to demonstrate to the best of his ability the justification for him being in the group ! Then they critically examine each other, trying to figure out “why that guy is not suitable for this project” …
So let me start with our first meeting. To give a brief ( but obfuscated) background of this research – its a project from some very noble “european guys” sitting in some European countries. Well they always seem to be doing “good research” so any project originating there has “good research” written all over it ! And for monkeys like us in India – its quite a boon to get assigned some task where there is a little bit of bandwidth. So these two facts make this project a really excellent one. Coming back to the meeting – we were seated in an office. The chief researcher who is also a professor began with some bad news. Okay … I can hear all of you saying “Already !”. To understand the bad news one has to examine the “history”. When this project was initially proposed to the “european guys” they were super glad ! All sorts of things were proposed to be done. (Maybe even a trip to the moon – just kidding). After the proposal was accepted the budget requirements were sent . The project was for three years and a per year cost was calculated. However when the project got approved the duration remained three years but the money given was that same number calculated and mentioned – the cost for one year ! Apparently it was a glitch in the “system”. Apparently those guys have a system that does not understand Indian numbers !
Well the project had to be re-evaluated. We cannot go and tell those “european guys” that – hey your system screwed up guys. No No. We had to now rephrase the project so that the work was less. Interesting sub parts were found and deemed essential. These were reset as the priorities for the project. So now we had a “reduced” project. This was duly conveyed to “those guys” and they understood the “problem”.
To continue with the meeting – well the above facts were reiterated and the participants advised that – well we do not have enough money. Moreover the educational institution under whose roof we are to do the project has its own set of rules ! It cannot allow a pay of more than a certain amount for a certain “qualification”. So great – we get even less ! Also theres no money for “servers” so we have to pinch one from another project. Hey life doesn’t get better than this – does it ?
At this point a little background about the participants is necessary. Apart from the Chief Researcher there are four other participants. One of these guys is a poor research fellow – whose research will be used for the algorithm ( since this is mostly computational research – it becomes super easy to rip the guy !) . Now this guy doesn’t get paid. That is because he is already getting some peanuts else where ( in the form scholarship money for his Phd). If he were to take some money then (according to the institute rules) he would also have to relinquish the Phd scholarship ! Super ! The next guys is me – a semi engineer cum scientist who has some interest in bioinformatics. I get paid a “salary” which looks more like a stipend. The third player is an ambitious “student” who wants to get “a Phd”. So he works for half the peanuts that I work for ! And lastly is the “mediator”. He’s the guy who is giving the money – well actually he just delivers the cheques and makes sure the “formalities” are being done ! He also knows “those guys” and has to answer for the project to “them”.
So now the mediator rose to the occasion and said – well this was one huge opportunity ! Here we were a bunch of monkeys – getting some peanuts for “doing our own thing”. We have to impress “them” – he said. So its was imperative that we fill out a work time-sheet which showed that we were appearing on the horizon regularly. Also we had to show how many hours we were spending on “various” aspects of the project. In effect giving us the daily roster that they usually hand out to prison inmates on work detail ! He also emphasized that the reduced money was not “their” problem so we should never utter these words in front of them ! In fact he gave us clear instructions to communicate only through him. Perhaps he was afraid that he would get caught going to Maldives on project money ! (again – just kidding!)
I decided to put a small question at this juncture – I asked him if knew of any “commercial” use of this research. (to clarify the situation here – the project was always deemed to be Open Source and under the usual “free for all” rigmarole !) He said that there were interested parties who knew how to get some commercial mileage out of this ! Wow ! So now we know why “they” are being so “good” and giving us “all this money” to have “our” way in this research. That cleared the air a lot and we all looked much relieved. The “ambitious student” also put in his two comments all the while smiling with gusto ! The next question about this projects was about the peanuts (again initiated by me) . So did he ( the mediator) think that the peanuts given for this research were indeed small and bad quality ? Well, he said, there was massive value to be obtained ! We could get to know “those guys” – who are really good at research ! However we could not talk to them directly – and no – we could not ask for other projects or go on any other project on request.
The chief researcher also wanted to add that although the project had been “reduced” she could not “stop us” from doing more ! So that we could get even more value from this project ? I almost wondered aloud !
Well its like a telling a parrot in a bird-cage – “You can be stuck here all your life and imagine that you can fly !”. We were all convinced that there was indeed a lot of “value” to be obtained from this project ! Now lets revise the list of implications
- The project was for three years with the money of one year
- There was no money to buy equipment
- Daily in/out routine had to be mentioned and recorded – for “their’ benefit.
- We could not talk to “them” directly
- The fact there was only peanuts to be had was not “their’ problem.
- The “ambitious student” would get no salary at the end of two years.( He asked about the “three” years mentioned on the project – and was duly informed by the mediator that the last year was for “workshops”.)
- We were to impress “them” by showing our hard work and dedication.
- Teamwork in an exemplary form had to exist between all of us – so that we could all sit down together every day morning and catch the peanuts thrown at us.
The monkey is me !
The above were the broad implications of the meeting. It ended with samosas and tea. The “office karamchari” had to wait overtime and do some “paperwork” while the researchers were finding ways to get “value” from the research. The mediator was on the back-foot at the end warding of questions with solid blocks with the bat (like in cricket). The chief researcher decided to check mail. Monkeys like me decided to go home and ponder. The Phd student whose research we were ripping sat all the while notebook and pencil in hand wondering why the discussion never bordered on the technical ! The “ambitious student” got bowled over by the mediators “accent” and indeed felt there was immense value to be gained from this research !
After leaving the meeting hall – I went over to the “Server” room. there were two Sun workstations sitting pretty among a whole multitude of Dell machines. Apparently these had 32GB RAM ( GB does not stand for Great Britain any more) and “immense” amount of computational power ! Costing at over 4 lac rupees it was a dream machine ! So I naturally asked the admin chap – can I work on these ? Alas he said – there is no operating system on these ! Cool ! 8 lac rupees sitting pretty just for eye candy ! I told him he should have bought a plasma screen with a DVD player – it would have “served” us better !
The heart of a terrorist …
Terror !
The Mumbai terror attacks has been a wake-up call for the whole of India. It showed us our vulnerabilities in the most unflattering light. All of India was glued to the TV, waiting for the next development. It had over a few days become the national obsession. Emotions of various hues were displayed by our news channels. Everyone who was anyone spoke about it and showed fear, sorrow, anger and all the variety of reactions that define us humans.
The Pakistani government and media spoke and so did their Indian counterparts. The US and European Union countries had something to say also. The only ones who did not speak were the terrorists. They were nameless , faceless , speechless icons of evil. They were not a bunch of people with guns – rather they were symbolic of terror and their individual identities merged to become the “enemy”.
But what about them as individuals. Everyone among us knows about the making of terrorists. We know the dirty money that funds it. We know the religions that enshrine it. We know the people who are using it. We also know the people who are being used. However we actually don’t know about the people who work for peanuts and give up their lives in a futile attempt to glorify their religion.
Can someone live with the thought of killing so many innocents ? How as a human does a person reconcile himself to killing un-armed screaming innocent people ? What is that “pressure release valve” in their brains that malfunctions ? And what is the cause for so much pressure to build up that there is finally no choice but to blow up in self-annihilation ? Is it this anticipated guilt of killing innocents – that makes them wish to die ?
These questions need to be studied and satisfactory descriptions of the “terrorist brain” has to be solidified. Terrorism like any other career has a certain stereotype as its requirement. Social evolution will eventually club the “likely candidates” into the “proper religion/creed” so that they can give vent to their need for violence. A while back warring armies liked such a stereotype – the type who would give up their lives killing un-related individuals. The reason was “noble” – it was for the motherland.
Now we don’t have as many wars – and in any case the fatalities are minimized as far as possible. So where did that stereotype go after the war ? They started fighting smaller battles, for lesser reasons. Until up came a religion-based fanatical-tribal faction that had the right “job atmosphere”. They provided a reason to the warring individual and the warring individual found the justification necessary to be free from the guilt emanating from his actions.
What is sad however is how the media and the people in general comprehend this “individual”. There is no attempt to understand the mind that becomes a terrorist. They are nameless – and now even religionless – because their religious leaders have disowned them ! So what are they ? What part of the brain is built differently that such an individual can overcome such deep emotions as compassion and sympathy ? What is this psychosis ? Can it not be a form of mental disease – maybe even treatable ? Maybe some people are genetically geared towards violence – we know from our history that they were a highly necessary group of people not a long time ago (from the beginning of the first war ever fought by man !).
Every war has “collateral damage”. Mistakes that are at that point not too costly. Maybe a 100 innocents get killed while a bombing mission goes off-target by a few miles ! There are apologies extended by the errant army and the matter is forgotten. But the hidden cost of such mistakes is huge – its called terrorism ! These emotionally scarred innocent survivors built the most unbeatable mental defense system ever invented by man – the will to die ! A person willing to die cannot be reasoned with. Death is the end of any individual – and the love of it frees the soul from mortal fears. All our societies and systems are built on the premise that we will help each other survive. But what if we give sufficient reason to a person to make him wish to die ? He cannot fit in anymore – he becomes the outsider – the terrorist. A very ironical question that may be asked at this point is – can terrorists be terrorized into submission ?
The roots of terrorism cannot be found in religion. It is not in the “training camps”. Its not in the religious institutions where fanaticism is fanned into the populace. Its is not in the ideologue. Its not inside any country or in any society. The roots of terrorism are in two important facts that we haven’t analyzed sufficiently.
a) Our need for people willing to die for “sufficient reason” while killing the unknown enemy.
b) Our callousness in fighting our wars – where we neglect to heal the innocents who have suffered the emotional damage.
Without understanding the ramifications of the above we can never hope to solve the “terrorist problem”. We will keep fighting these “terrorists” as their brethren get further scarred and hence become more of the same. The society as a whole has to heal before “terrorism” goes away. And stupid wars fought for stupid reasons will make it much worse than it already is. I hope that in our future we are better aware if this reality and make amends for the millions of innocents killed in ideological wars.
The Fear Within
I am lucky to be in India – the land of festivals. There are a million of them here and at all times of the year. And each one has its own essence – a special context. Every community participates in all these festivals, their involvement varying with the perceived congruence of the particular festival with the religion, customs and traditions of the community.
So to come back to the question – what is a festival about ? Various answers come to mind. Celebration of a historical or mythical event. A traditional gathering of people with a common purpose. A place to sell your wares maybe …
But behind all the stated objectives of the festival – is the one important and subliminally understood objective. And that is to let go of the daily drudgery and enjoy the company of like minded and happy people. To elevate ourselves from the constructs of our daily routine and give vent to our primal need to feel joy.
And so it was during Durga puja. At least till the last year. But before I go ahead with my story – let me explain a little about Goddess Durga and her mythical essence.
Once upon a time the Asuras ( read the diabolical beings ) became so strong that even the gods were unable to overcome them. So they approached Lord Shiva for a solution. Lord Shiva in all his glory opened his third eye and conceived of a female being of immense power. She was Durga. And she overcame the strongest of the Asuras – Mahisasur. Thus the gods were able to regain control over heaven and earth.
Goddess Durga symbolizes shakti, the raw unimaginable power of goodness which can overcome the greatest of vices.
But sadly the message was totally lost on our population during this years Durga puja. Coming at the end of a series of bomb blasts and terror attacks – this years puja was a celebration of fear and not of the forces that overcome fear. Yes there was the usual shamiana with the huge idol of Durga. There were also a multitude of stalls selling food of all kinds. There was music and people danced on makeshift stages. However, among all this there was another very incongruous entity.
The gun toting law enforcement people. And they walked proudly among the revelers with their three foot guns, glaring at everyone that came in their path. And with them came gloom. More than the terrorists, the sight of commandos with their Ak-47s struck fear into the heart of every reveler.
Some said it was necessary – that the safety of the revelers was most important. Some said that it was a bit too much. But all agreed that the revelry had almost but disappeared. And all that was left was the drudgery of our common lives. It was the same policeman breathing down everyone’s neck. It was the same standing in line to get frisked. It was the same shutting down everything by the midnight hour. And most importantly it was the same fear that we felt for the past many weeks.
As the puja ended – it left a queer feeling in my mind. Suddenly it seemed that we can never go back to enjoying our festivals like we did before. As if all our senses had been over powered by the fear emanating from within us. A fear that cannot be cured by twenty policemen or one hundred commandos. The overwhelming fear of knowing that death awaits us whenever and wherever we get together in large numbers to celebrate.
The festival season has almost come to an end this year. But the festival has ended a long time ago. We are now like shadows of our joyous selves. Treading with cautious steps, awaiting our end in the form of that mysterious packet of explosives left in the midst of us. And the gun-toting policemen just keep reminding us of this fear within.
Lehman Brothers files for bankruptcy …
I had heard this in the movie Apocalypto – an awesome movie if you ask me !
The news of Lehman brothers filing for bankruptcy makes me remember that little sentence again. The nature of a great corporation today is so similar to the “great civilizations” of long ago. They have their work cultures, they have their own hierarchies, and they have their dedicated ground staff defending the institution.
The fall of companies like Lehman brothers is an eye opener for us. We have trusted the system of massively incorporated companies and banks to produce productive sustenance to the people employed as well as for the population in general. We believe that these companies with their immense work force, hierarchy and accountancy departments cannot go wrong in evaluating their self-worth and can in fact change the course of money to make the ends meet. But how wrong we are – and more often than not.
In a structured multi layered corporation it is quite impossible for every employee to have personal knowledge or interest in what the corporation is all about. They, like little ants fulfill their little tasks – all the while trusting their work-masters to have all the answers.
But that is so far from the truth in the present times. In these times when 
we have quantified our resources into an abstract concept called money. Hence we often get deluded into making these “billion dollar deals”. We believe that the coming together of a lot of money means a lot of nodding heads. So wrong, so very wrong. Its like believing that “The Blair Witch Project” is about some real footage – just because the video is as shoddy as from a hand held videocam.
How can we avoid an impasse like this ? This questions begs asking – as we boldly march into the age of Corporations. Well the answer is neither simple to comprehend or to implement. First of all its imperative that the corporation has an ideologue – could be a loose one – but should atleast exists. It should be obvious to an outsider as to what this company will do and what it will not do – in effect the ideologue. Secondly every employee should be made aware of the “ideologue” and asked to acquiesce or leave. (In this case there will be arm-twisting with money and lollipops – but at the least the employee will be aware of the circumstances he made his decision in). Thirdly anyone who contracts/deals with the corporation should also be asked to have these practices in place.
These three simple steps might one day prevent such disasters. To quote Alan Greenspan, the former chairman of the US Federal Reserve – “Let’s recognize that this is a once in a half-century, probably once in a century type of event.” He continued by saying that it was the worst “by far” he has seen in his career.
We are at a very real crossroad now. This is not a Rambo movie where “with grit and brutal determination” the “good” in the end overcomes the “evil”. There is no clear enemy here – the devil they say lies in the details. We have put our money behind these corporations for a long time now. Its time we examine the authenticity of these institutions and question the malpractice which is evidently inside most private corporations. Money and its accumulation in one place – can no longer be the best yardstick for the “free economy”.
In the present context we should now start a new “economy of choice” – a place where the participants are aware of their personal as well “corporational” responsibilities. That would be a truer testament to the will of the masses. In fact it may lead to some good social evolution.
