Research in India ! …. Part 1

Sometimes you get this wonderful opportunity to do “worthwhile” research in India. The word worthwhile is used in quotes to bring out the weight behind the word when used in the context of Indian research. In most Indian institutions research is done like a stage play. There are various actors, and a vast array of “technology” which forms the backdrop to the action. In this setting the actors go through the motions while making sure that the performance is believable and the output has enough quality to not be disregarded.

Research and Development !

You see in India we do not really believe in research. We believe in working and getting salaries. Open ended research is a huge load on our feeble brains ! So to mitigate this problem we like little monkeys imitate the “practices” from our western friends. We set up emails, we do meetings, we buy black berries ( not the edible variety ), we buy “servers” and we generally go about disseminating textbook information in baritone voices so that the listener may be brainwashed into believing that all the research we are doing is worthwhile and unique !

Into this soup, did I decide to dive in ! And oh what fun we had … but wait, let me tell you from the beginning ! The beginning as always is a meeting. Here the participants of the research are made to sit through a long lecture about the “workings” of the place. Each person tries to demonstrate to the best of his ability the justification for him being in the group ! Then they critically examine each other, trying to figure out “why that guy is not suitable for this project” …

So let me start with our first meeting. To give a brief ( but obfuscated) background of this research – its a project from some very noble “european guys” sitting in some European countries. Well they always seem to be doing “good research” so any project originating there has “good research” written all over it ! And for monkeys like us in India – its quite a boon to get assigned some task where there is a little bit of bandwidth. So these two facts make this project a really excellent one. Coming back to the meeting – we were seated in an office. The chief researcher who is also a professor began with some bad news. Okay … I can hear all of you saying “Already !”. To understand the bad news one has to examine the “history”. When this project was initially proposed to the “european guys” they were super glad ! All sorts of things were proposed to be done. (Maybe even a trip to the moon – just kidding). After the proposal was accepted the budget requirements were sent . The project was for three years and a per year cost was calculated. However when the project got approved the duration remained three years but the money given was that same number calculated and mentioned – the cost for one year ! Apparently it was a glitch in the “system”. Apparently those guys have a system that does not understand Indian numbers !

Well the project had to be re-evaluated. We cannot go and tell those “european guys” that – hey your system screwed up guys. No No. We had to now rephrase the project so that the work was less. Interesting sub parts were found and deemed essential. These were reset as the priorities for the project. So now we had a “reduced” project. This was duly conveyed to “those guys” and they understood the “problem”.

To continue with the meeting – well the above facts were reiterated and the participants advised that – well we do not have enough money. Moreover the educational institution under whose roof we are to do the project has its own set of rules ! It cannot allow a pay of more than a certain amount for a certain “qualification”. So great – we get even less ! Also theres no money for “servers” so we have to pinch one from another project. Hey life doesn’t get better than this – does it ?

At this point a little background about the participants is necessary. Apart from the Chief Researcher there are four other participants. One of these guys is a poor research fellow – whose research will be used for the algorithm ( since this is mostly computational research – it becomes super easy to rip the guy !) . Now this guy doesn’t get paid. That is because he is already getting some peanuts else where ( in the form scholarship money for his Phd). If he were to take some money then (according to the institute rules) he would also have to relinquish the Phd scholarship ! Super ! The next guys is me – a semi engineer cum scientist who has some interest in  bioinformatics. I get paid a “salary” which looks more like a stipend. The third player is an ambitious “student” who wants to get “a Phd”. So he works for half the peanuts that I work for ! And lastly is the “mediator”. He’s the guy who is giving the money – well actually he just delivers the cheques and makes sure the “formalities” are being done ! He also knows “those guys” and has to answer for the project to “them”.

So now the mediator rose to the occasion and said – well this was one huge opportunity ! Here we were a bunch of monkeys – getting some peanuts for “doing our own thing”. We have to impress “them” – he said. So its was imperative that we fill out a work time-sheet which showed that we were appearing on the horizon regularly. Also we had to show how many hours we were spending on “various” aspects of the project. In effect giving us the daily roster that they usually hand out to prison inmates on work detail ! He also emphasized that the reduced money was not “their” problem so we should never utter these words in front of them ! In fact he gave us clear instructions to communicate only through him. Perhaps he was afraid that he would get caught going to Maldives on project money ! (again – just kidding!)

I decided to put a small question at this juncture – I asked him if knew of any “commercial” use of this research. (to clarify the situation here – the project was always deemed to be Open Source and under the usual “free for all” rigmarole !) He said that there were interested parties who knew how to get some commercial mileage out of this ! Wow ! So now we know why “they” are being so “good” and giving us “all this money” to have “our” way in this research. That cleared the air a lot and we all looked much relieved. The “ambitious student” also put in his two comments all the while smiling with gusto ! The next question about this projects was about the peanuts (again initiated by me) . So did he ( the mediator) think that the peanuts given for this research were indeed small and bad quality ? Well, he said, there was massive value to be obtained ! We could get to know “those guys” – who are  really good at research ! However we could not talk to them directly – and no – we could not ask for other projects or go on any other project on request.

The chief researcher also wanted to add that although the project had been “reduced” she could not “stop us” from doing more ! So that we could get even more value from this project ? I almost wondered aloud !

Well its like a telling a parrot in a bird-cage – “You can be stuck here all your life and imagine that you can fly !”. We were all convinced that there was indeed a lot of “value” to be obtained from this project ! Now lets revise the list of implications

1. The project was for three years with the money of one year
2. There was no money to buy equipment
3. Daily in/out routine had to be mentioned and recorded – for “their’ benefit.
4. We could not talk to “them” directly
5. The fact there was only peanuts to be had was not “their’ problem.
6. The “ambitious student” would get no salary at the end of two years.( He asked about the “three” years mentioned on the project – and was duly informed by the mediator that the last year was for “workshops”.)
7. We were to impress “them” by showing our hard work and dedication.
8. Teamwork in an exemplary form had to exist between all of us – so that we could all sit down together every day morning and catch the peanuts thrown at us.

The monkey is me !

The above were the broad implications of the meeting. It ended with samosas and tea. The “office karamchari” had to wait overtime and do some “paperwork” while the researchers were finding ways to get “value” from the research. The mediator was on the back-foot at the end warding of questions with solid blocks with the bat (like in cricket). The chief researcher decided to check mail. Monkeys like me decided to go home and ponder. The Phd student whose research we were ripping sat all the while notebook and pencil in hand wondering why the discussion never bordered on the technical ! The “ambitious student” got bowled over by the mediators “accent” and indeed felt there was immense value to be gained from this research !

After leaving the meeting hall – I went over to the “Server” room. there were two Sun workstations sitting pretty among a whole multitude of Dell machines. Apparently these had 32GB RAM ( GB does not stand for Great Britain any more) and “immense” amount of computational power ! Costing at over 4 lac rupees it was a dream machine ! So I naturally asked the admin chap – can I work on these ? Alas he said – there is no operating system on these ! Cool ! 8 lac rupees sitting pretty just for eye candy ! I told him he should have bought a plasma screen with a DVD player – it would have “served” us better !