Research in India ! …. Part 2
If you missed part 1, you can read it here.
So last time I talked a little how a research project was started. This time I will tell you more about why research in India is a frustrating thing to do.
The happy ones !
A basic ingredient of any research anywhere in the world is a working internet connection. The simple reason for this is that most of the journals are available online, and it really doesn’t make sense anymore to order prints (and help reduce the number of trees on mother earth). Another reason is that a vast majority of research these days is achieved in a distributed fashion – various facets of a problem are often explored by different groups in different continents. It is imperative that these groups stay in touch and keep exchanging ideas.
But a working internet connection is like nirvana to most research scholars in India. In fact most of them have orgasms when they see a download speed greater than 1 mbps. Even in the notable “Universities” the internet connection is more like a dial-up modem line. In fact it is more like a dial-up wireless modem line on a rainy day with thunderstorms. If we could have a competition between an ant and a line of travelling data at the “University” then I would be putting my money on the ant.
Things usually get this bad not because of technological limitations. We have plenty of money to buy more bandwidth if necessary. Moreover the existing speeds are more than enough for the internet needs of a research group. The real culprits are the low IQ staff that are sitting at the sys-admin sections. Most of these karamcharis on government payroll, cannot get enough beetelnut in between their red teeth before half murmuring the “torrensh are tha pawblem”. The fact is they don’t know jack about torrents or how to stop them. They only keep repeating it because it is one of those problems that gives them the clean chit – and the research group, the black eye !
Well I must accept – there are a bunch of fools and lower animals in every research group. These seemingly human (but actually zombie) individuals take get great delight in downloading “torrensh” of movies and then watching them in fast forward. Neither do they enjoy the movie nor do they allow the others to enjoy the bandwidth ! But such people can be stopped quite easily. Its just a matter of some software and a few port filters. Stuff that any low level sys-admin would be able to implement.
However since we are talking the “Government of India” – the implication is that the sys-admin was a office boy who joined in 1952 and slowly rose up the ranks to become the “sheesh-admin”. In effect he is clueless about networking and firewalls and switches and routers and port filters etc etc. The only networking that he knows is of the social variety done over the half-peg at the official dinner. His motive for coming to the office everyday is not to make the internet better or get that server up. Oh no … the only reason he comes is to keep the attendance up – so that his year end appraisal doesn’t get tainted ! You see in the “Government of India” where attendance is abysmally low - it quite often becomes the only criterion for a positive appraisal. The fact that the karamchari did nothing the whole year – is perhaps only referred to in drawled out jokes at the paan shop.
Its been over a month and a half now … since I had requested a hard-disk upgrade and a static IP for my server. Even after all the “due diligence” (translate to boring paperwork designed to give you carpal tunnel syndrome) – the hard disk seems like a pool of water on the hot desert road – a deceptive mirage which shifts away from you as you approach it ! When I asked about the static IP – all I got was talk about NAT and “holes in the firewall” and other seemingly technical things – which sound right but is generally crap out of a horse’s arse ! Fact is – they have over the past month and a half, been unable to give me a static IP !
Whenever I go to the “University” I come back disappointed – having done almost nothing, thanks to simple facts like “no internet connection” or “the UPS went down” or “the power line has tripped”. The only research possible in such circumstances is to take your camera and find new species of birds in the foliage around the buildings.
That is why I make it a point nowadays to carry my brothers DSLR, and click macro photos of exotic plants and birds available on the campus. At least I can put some nice photos on Facebook ! The image in this post is one such example of “no power so clicking photos” syndrome !
Research in India ! …. Part 1
Sometimes you get this wonderful opportunity to do “worthwhile” research in India. The word worthwhile is used in quotes to bring out the weight behind the word when used in the context of Indian research. In most Indian institutions research is done like a stage play. There are various actors, and a vast array of “technology” which forms the backdrop to the action. In this setting the actors go through the motions while making sure that the performance is believable and the output has enough quality to not be disregarded.
Research and Development !
You see in India we do not really believe in research. We believe in working and getting salaries. Open ended research is a huge load on our feeble brains ! So to mitigate this problem we like little monkeys imitate the “practices” from our western friends. We set up emails, we do meetings, we buy black berries ( not the edible variety ), we buy “servers” and we generally go about disseminating textbook information in baritone voices so that the listener may be brainwashed into believing that all the research we are doing is worthwhile and unique !
Into this soup, did I decide to dive in ! And oh what fun we had … but wait, let me tell you from the beginning ! The beginning as always is a meeting. Here the participants of the research are made to sit through a long lecture about the “workings” of the place. Each person tries to demonstrate to the best of his ability the justification for him being in the group ! Then they critically examine each other, trying to figure out “why that guy is not suitable for this project” …
So let me start with our first meeting. To give a brief ( but obfuscated) background of this research – its a project from some very noble “european guys” sitting in some European countries. Well they always seem to be doing “good research” so any project originating there has “good research” written all over it ! And for monkeys like us in India – its quite a boon to get assigned some task where there is a little bit of bandwidth. So these two facts make this project a really excellent one. Coming back to the meeting – we were seated in an office. The chief researcher who is also a professor began with some bad news. Okay … I can hear all of you saying “Already !”. To understand the bad news one has to examine the “history”. When this project was initially proposed to the “european guys” they were super glad ! All sorts of things were proposed to be done. (Maybe even a trip to the moon – just kidding). After the proposal was accepted the budget requirements were sent . The project was for three years and a per year cost was calculated. However when the project got approved the duration remained three years but the money given was that same number calculated and mentioned – the cost for one year ! Apparently it was a glitch in the “system”. Apparently those guys have a system that does not understand Indian numbers !
Well the project had to be re-evaluated. We cannot go and tell those “european guys” that – hey your system screwed up guys. No No. We had to now rephrase the project so that the work was less. Interesting sub parts were found and deemed essential. These were reset as the priorities for the project. So now we had a “reduced” project. This was duly conveyed to “those guys” and they understood the “problem”.
To continue with the meeting – well the above facts were reiterated and the participants advised that – well we do not have enough money. Moreover the educational institution under whose roof we are to do the project has its own set of rules ! It cannot allow a pay of more than a certain amount for a certain “qualification”. So great – we get even less ! Also theres no money for “servers” so we have to pinch one from another project. Hey life doesn’t get better than this – does it ?
At this point a little background about the participants is necessary. Apart from the Chief Researcher there are four other participants. One of these guys is a poor research fellow – whose research will be used for the algorithm ( since this is mostly computational research – it becomes super easy to rip the guy !) . Now this guy doesn’t get paid. That is because he is already getting some peanuts else where ( in the form scholarship money for his Phd). If he were to take some money then (according to the institute rules) he would also have to relinquish the Phd scholarship ! Super ! The next guys is me – a semi engineer cum scientist who has some interest in bioinformatics. I get paid a “salary” which looks more like a stipend. The third player is an ambitious “student” who wants to get “a Phd”. So he works for half the peanuts that I work for ! And lastly is the “mediator”. He’s the guy who is giving the money – well actually he just delivers the cheques and makes sure the “formalities” are being done ! He also knows “those guys” and has to answer for the project to “them”.
So now the mediator rose to the occasion and said – well this was one huge opportunity ! Here we were a bunch of monkeys – getting some peanuts for “doing our own thing”. We have to impress “them” – he said. So its was imperative that we fill out a work time-sheet which showed that we were appearing on the horizon regularly. Also we had to show how many hours we were spending on “various” aspects of the project. In effect giving us the daily roster that they usually hand out to prison inmates on work detail ! He also emphasized that the reduced money was not “their” problem so we should never utter these words in front of them ! In fact he gave us clear instructions to communicate only through him. Perhaps he was afraid that he would get caught going to Maldives on project money ! (again – just kidding!)
I decided to put a small question at this juncture – I asked him if knew of any “commercial” use of this research. (to clarify the situation here – the project was always deemed to be Open Source and under the usual “free for all” rigmarole !) He said that there were interested parties who knew how to get some commercial mileage out of this ! Wow ! So now we know why “they” are being so “good” and giving us “all this money” to have “our” way in this research. That cleared the air a lot and we all looked much relieved. The “ambitious student” also put in his two comments all the while smiling with gusto ! The next question about this projects was about the peanuts (again initiated by me) . So did he ( the mediator) think that the peanuts given for this research were indeed small and bad quality ? Well, he said, there was massive value to be obtained ! We could get to know “those guys” – who are really good at research ! However we could not talk to them directly – and no – we could not ask for other projects or go on any other project on request.
The chief researcher also wanted to add that although the project had been “reduced” she could not “stop us” from doing more ! So that we could get even more value from this project ? I almost wondered aloud !
Well its like a telling a parrot in a bird-cage – “You can be stuck here all your life and imagine that you can fly !”. We were all convinced that there was indeed a lot of “value” to be obtained from this project ! Now lets revise the list of implications
- The project was for three years with the money of one year
- There was no money to buy equipment
- Daily in/out routine had to be mentioned and recorded – for “their’ benefit.
- We could not talk to “them” directly
- The fact there was only peanuts to be had was not “their’ problem.
- The “ambitious student” would get no salary at the end of two years.( He asked about the “three” years mentioned on the project – and was duly informed by the mediator that the last year was for “workshops”.)
- We were to impress “them” by showing our hard work and dedication.
- Teamwork in an exemplary form had to exist between all of us – so that we could all sit down together every day morning and catch the peanuts thrown at us.
The monkey is me !
The above were the broad implications of the meeting. It ended with samosas and tea. The “office karamchari” had to wait overtime and do some “paperwork” while the researchers were finding ways to get “value” from the research. The mediator was on the back-foot at the end warding of questions with solid blocks with the bat (like in cricket). The chief researcher decided to check mail. Monkeys like me decided to go home and ponder. The Phd student whose research we were ripping sat all the while notebook and pencil in hand wondering why the discussion never bordered on the technical ! The “ambitious student” got bowled over by the mediators “accent” and indeed felt there was immense value to be gained from this research !
After leaving the meeting hall – I went over to the “Server” room. there were two Sun workstations sitting pretty among a whole multitude of Dell machines. Apparently these had 32GB RAM ( GB does not stand for Great Britain any more) and “immense” amount of computational power ! Costing at over 4 lac rupees it was a dream machine ! So I naturally asked the admin chap – can I work on these ? Alas he said – there is no operating system on these ! Cool ! 8 lac rupees sitting pretty just for eye candy ! I told him he should have bought a plasma screen with a DVD player – it would have “served” us better !
